I once served for more than three years in a church in southern China whose congregation was largely composed of young people. The church offered various activities and had a vibrant atmosphere, yet I gradually observed a common pattern: while members warmly greeted and cared for one another within the church walls, they seldom formed genuine connections in their daily lives. At times, even when encountering each other on the street, they would pass by like strangers.
This led me to realize that many believers had not developed a true spiritual bond with the church, nor had they come to regard fellow believers as members of their own. Scripture teaches that Christians form a spiritual family, which is a relationship far deeper than the casual use of "family" online and even surpassing ordinary kinship. Because in Christ, believers share the same Father, the same Savior, the same Scriptures, and the same pastoral care.
Christians are called to be a community committed to the church, and this "membership" is not confined to church premises. When "faith in the Lord" is separated from "commitment to the church," it fosters the misconception that personal spirituality alone is enough and that building relationships with others is unnecessary. In reality, to leave the church is to detach oneself from the body of Christ; to distance oneself from fellow believers is to distance oneself from God's blessings. If believers are unwilling to walk with the church, prayers about "serving the Lord" become nothing more than empty words.
During my first year in seminary, I returned to my hometown filled with pride in my growing theological knowledge. I went back to the church I had attended since childhood with a sense of superiority and a critical spirit. Yet over the years, the Lord transformed me. I came to understand anew that true Christians are those who willingly devote themselves to their brothers and sisters in the church; only then can they become genuine disciples of Christ. Authentic service is not about achieving great accomplishments but about sharing the Lord's grace with fellow believers in ordinary daily life.
Last year, I returned to that same church, but with a renewed attitude, regarding its members as family. After services, I stay to talk with them and learn about their needs: the disabled, single parents, the sick, and many young people whose faith remains uncertain.
Through this, I have gained a deeper appreciation of how Jesus ministered. He did not simply conduct large gatherings of healing or deliverance but lived alongside his disciples, shaping them through daily life. He was willing to enter the homes of tax collectors and sinners, and he also accepted invitations to the banquets of the Pharisees.
This has helped me understand why many pastors choose to spend their entire lives quietly serving a small congregation in a small place. For true ministry is not only about preaching but also about cultivating pastoral relationships.
Now, I make an effort to get to know all the believers in my church as well as those in other congregations. I write their names in a notebook and pay attention to their family situations. At every small group gathering, I look forward to hearing their life stories because I regard them as family.
I especially admire the small group life in some churches, weekly gatherings for hymns, fellowship meals, sharing, and intercessory prayer, walking with one another through singleness, marriage, and the seasons of birth, aging, illness, and death. At times, the relationships among group members are even closer than their ties with their pastors. Even when unexpected situations interrupt their meetings, they resume their fellowship the following week. This spiritual bond forms an inseparable family.
This is also the vision I hold for serving the church. Whether through preaching, discussion, or fellowship, I hope the church can become a community where believers truly know one another, commit to one another, serve one another, and are willing to love one another even at personal cost. In this way, Christians can genuinely live out the life of Christ.
(Originally published by the Christian Times, the article has been edited under permission and the author is a Christian contributor.)
- Edited and translated by Poppy Chan
